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Trust underpins what we think and do. It is equally as relevant in our business relationships as it is in our personal ones.
But, despite its omnipresence, our perception of trust is changing. Our ability to sense who we can trust is heavily impacted by our changing ways of interacting. The outcomes of the pandemic are forcing us to see trust through a different lense.
How Does Trust Come About?
Trust is said to be ‘built’. It is a process where building blocks can be innocuous interactions or grand gestures. Remembering someone important, checking in with people, body language and even ‘vibes’ contribute.
When interactions are mainly online, lots of this ‘in the moment’ trust building is lost. We become ‘transactional’ more quickly simply because the conditions aren’t as conducive to small talk. We don’t have the sidebar conversation with the person we’re sat next to. This has led to us either relying on historic trust or needing to use ‘blind trust’.
External Factors
This erosion of our trust signals is coupled with some societal developments which are also making us question who we trust and why.
Political and other public institutions, such as the police, legal system, royalty and even the celebrity world are showing a shift in once-reliable parameters. Violence, a lack of truth, mixed messages, and corruption are things that remind us we need to reassess and perhaps be more withholding of our trust. Simply having an opinion on social media, can create a raft of potentially unpleasant responses, that at times can be hurtful.
Hot Topic
All of my current client group work is stemming from a need to invest in relationships and trust. There are, of course, valid and unconnected reasons to what I’ve mentioned above, but the undertone is there. Remote working has not always helped businesses to move and grow, to evolve, restructure or bond with new starters or even existing employees.
I start by taking clients back to who they are as people. They are not a job, a position, or an employee number. They have stories, backgrounds and individual thoughts, beliefs and behaviours.
If we overlook all of this – the things that make us who we are – we run a very real risk of failing to understand why our colleagues react and behave the way they do. We are not getting to know them and it can prevent trust from blossoming.
Calculating Trust
This idea comes from Stephen Covey: there are many, daily deposits and withdrawals happening and, if the ledger doesn’t balance, trust is gradually eroded. There are so many ways in which the ‘balance’ of the trust account can be impacted. Brene Brown suggests seven elements: boundaries, reliability, accountability, confidentiality (the vault, for anyone familiar with her work), integrity, non-judgement and generosity. This list alone gives us real clarity on the breadth and depth of trust when it comes to how we interact with one another.
In a similar way, I speak often about Charles Green’s trust equation. This asserts that trust equals credibility plus reliability plus intimacy, all divided by self-orientation (or self-interest). The logic here says that if you are lacking in one of the three components that sit on the top of the line, you need to compensate by dialling up on the others. It also highlights how self-interested you are has a significant impact on how trustworthy you are.
This helps me illustrate that, right now, with the pressures being brought to bear on everyone, you cannot dial up intimacy enough. See people for who they are. Recognise them and communicate that you are doing so. Make them feel valued and remembered.
What Can We Tolerate?
Our fear of putting our head above the parapet is no more. Black lives matter, me too, western businesses trading in Ukraine – all of these situations, whatever your opinion on them, are examples of people deciding they won’t just sit back but that, instead, they want clear and unequivocal evidence that trust and ‘doing the right thing’ can win over the opposite.
If you are sensing a breakdown in trust in your team or organisation, it is important to remember that in assessing the 5 dysfunctions of a team (Lencioni) the first is an absence of trust. Trust needs to be present (it’s the foundation of any team), and vulnerability-based for teams to excel.
Just as the lense through which we view trust is moving, so too is the dial which tells us what to tolerate. People will not stay still if they don’t feel valued. We’re seeing increasing turnover in employment caused by people deciding something they would once have put up with, no longer feels acceptable.
For more on trust or to enquire about my team and leadership coaching, please get in touch at: emma@mindvaluesleadership.co.uk or call 07973 151033.
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