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I believe that resilience is the key to surviving long-term crisis, such as we have experienced throughout most of 2020. It’s a topic I often cover with my coaching clients but, because of the pandemic, it’s something I’ve been putting some extra time into researching recently.
Becoming resilient is about coaching yourself to consider rather than simply react. By taking a moment, we can learn to reframe our thoughts and change our perspective on a situation.
Naturally, especially during periods of stress or hardship, our brains are more likely to jump to a negative state. Our mood will then change, our actions and decision-making will be affected and, by the law of attraction, we will end up in a negative place. Reframing gives us a little time to change this outcome.
Take the recent second lockdown. We found out quite suddenly that the country would be shut down again. You may have had a weekend away planned, or a meal or night out booked. The natural reaction might be to think “oh what a nuisance, I have to cancel my plans. Life is so boring at the moment.”
Try reframing this: “ok, so now I have a free weekend coming up. What project have I been trying to get off the ground? What would I like to do with all that time, maybe relax and treat myself to some quiet time?” By thinking positively, it’s more likely we will feel upbeat about a free weekend and fill it with good energy and worthwhile activity.
The 5 pillars of resilience
A model I often share when coaching is that of The Wellbeing Project and their ‘5 pillars of resilience’.
The pillars are:
- Energy
- Future focus
- Inner drive
- Flexible thinking
- Strong relationships
By focusing on each of these areas, we can improve our resilience and set ourselves up not just to survive in challenging times, but to thrive.
Energy
This is about channelling our physical energy to remain engaged throughout the day. Eating well, drinking plenty of water and getting regular breaks and exercise are all great tools to help keep your physical energy levels up. And remember doing nothing is, strangely perhaps, a good way to deplete energy so don’t let lockdown or restrictions stop you from being energetic.
Future Focus
In order to create future focus, we need a vision as well as an idea of how we will achieve it. During times of crisis, however, goals need to be shorter term to ensure you are able to achieve them. Feeling a sense of achievement is a reward which will keep you focused on other goals. You should only set goals around things you can control. The pandemic should have taught us all that some things are outside of our control and, for a while at least, we just need to go with them.
Inner Drive
This is all about our positive mental energy. If you are struggling with motivation or drive, think about where your attention is going: is it positive or negative? Then try reframing your thoughts towards the positive outcomes. Even the smallest tweak to your thoughts can ‘unstick’ your mood and energy and give you huge momentum.
Flexible Thinking
When we are under pressure, we often take on a more rigid mindset. We are quick to assume something is impossible, or we feel trapped in a cycle of negativity. By taking the time to consider alternative options, being creative with our solutions for challenges we face, we can be more flexible in our thinking and change our mood and outcomes.
Strong Relationships
As humans, we are wired to be connected to others. We actually need strong relationships and a sense of belonging in order to become resilient. During times of crisis, people might withdraw so it’s important for us to remain focused on the importance of building quality relationships. Times like this are ideal for relationship building: think of all the goodwill stories we have heard throughout the year. Often, doing good for others makes us feel better about ourselves so think about what you can do for someone who is struggling and you will both feel the benefit.
This year has caused unprecedented stress and mental fatigue for all of us. The virus has denied us some of our basic human needs so it is inevitable that we will feel out of sorts. Use the coming weeks to focus on your resilience and reframe your thoughts.
For more tips and ideas, check out my November Instagram posts
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