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The topic of leadership fascinates me. But I believe many of us have a closed opinion of who our leaders are. In my latest blog series, I speak to people who I consider to be ‘everyday leaders’.
These people may not have ‘leadership’ in their role or title, but they demonstrate leadership in their everyday life. The point is that we all lead in our own way. I want to uncover people who do this particularly well and tell their stories in the hope of inspiring others to engage with and harness their inner leader.
 |
Charley is a therapeutic coach, facilitator, and consultant. She works with women and girls from the age of 10, to support them in reducing anxiety and increasing self-belief and confidence. She’s had a fascinating life, ranging from setting up Childline Scotland, through to caring for her partner who died in her mid-thirties. She’s now in her fifties and, I’m delighted to say, joins me for the next interview on my ‘Everyday Leaders’ series. You can find Charley on Instagram at @braveyourday and as @skagirl67 on Twitter. Links added at the bottom of this blog. |
Tell me a bit about what’s made you the person you are today?
For me, there’s been a realisation that some of the changes I’ve been ready to make in later life may be as a result of epiphanies in the past but we have to be ready to integrate that experience. This really excites me as it’s led to what I’m doing on a daily basis.
A good way of understanding this is to think about how you feel when you are at school and get asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
That’s like asking us to unravel a tangled ball of wool. Our lives and careers are not linear.
It’s only now that I feel as though I’ve come home to myself with what I’m doing but also how I’m being.
What do you do on a day-by-day basis?
I have a private practice where I work with individuals therapeutically as a counsellor and coach. I work with girls from the age of 10 through to women at all stages of life who want to work out who they are and where they’re going.
We also work with organisations, most of whom work with vulnerable people themsleves. We help them to understand how to support themselves while they are supporting others. They need to be able to cope with the impact that caring brings. This could involve us helping them structure their own peer support, helping with plans for taking time to create a balance, or helping their people to build stronger relationships with themselves.
However, I have wanted to be a shopkeeper since I was very young so, in my downtime, I run an Etsy shop. I use the proceeds to help girls and women who don’t have the funds to get the sort of help I offer plus it acts as a creative outlet for me, which I love.
Your business is called Brave Your Day. Where did this come from?
I realised in my 30s that I’ve always been afraid. I’ve always been anxious and felt scared of things I was about to do. I experienced lots of change during my 30s. I was caring for my long-term partner at the time, for about 5 years until he died. This took a significant toll on me as I was petrified of the inevitable happening.
It was then I realised that fear lived within me. His death taught me I’d changed an awful lot in those years, but it was another 10 years before I was ready to make changes. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t pinpoint it.
I’d always wanted to go to Memphis. I’m a huge Elvis fan and wanted to visit civil rights museum there so we went for my birthday. It was then, because I couldn’t stop crying, that I realised I was burnt out. The museum gave me a strong sense of calm. It’s very interactive and it seemed to have a physical effect on me. The tears hadn’t stopped but I was realising that these were ‘normal’ people who had come together to make something happen. I could do that too.
I told Colin that when we went home, I was going to request redundancy and I wanted to work together to do something completely different.
Bravery isn’t all about high fives and bravado. It’s about finding a way to push through your fear. This was what I witnessed, and felt personally, at the civil rights museum.
Brave Your Day, Your Way seemed the perfect way to describe this.
How would you define leadership?
I like to think of leadership as taking charge of yourself and knowing you have your own voice and can speak up for yourself and others.
I believe that leadership is about all of us holding our own torches, but lighting others’ too. I’m influenced by Gloria Steinem, who founded the feminist movement in America. People are talking about who will take per place (she’s in her 80s now) and she can’t believe that – it’s about all of us helping each other, leading from our own guts and courage.
You started by looking inwards, whereas leadership is often portrayed as ‘doing to others’. Was this intentional?
I think it’s where I’ve got to with what I’m doing and who I’m being.
For so many people we work with, their voice has either been missing or turned right down and they are frightened of what will happen if this changes. So, I feel that this is the strongest work any of us can do – to look inside and be comfortable with having a voice and using it. Lots of the organisations I work with will also have values that chime with this.
Do you consider yourself a leader?
I do now. I haven’t in the past. Others have said I am but I didn’t think I merited that, probably because I linked it with a role or position.
I think it’s common for others to see leadership first. Now, I recognise that I am a leader because of the principles I have about leadership. I don’t need that external validation from others anymore – maybe that’s age as I’m nearly 55 – I’m comfortable in my own skin.
The thing that made the difference probably only happened last year. We set up Brave Your Day at the end of 2017, but we weren’t particularly strategic – we wanted to see how it went. Through lockdown though, and going back to what I know about my skills and experience, everything came together and I started to embrace the things I’d been pushing away.
It was no longer about leadership goals in the traditional sense, but instead, coming home to what I was good at and feeling settled, rooted, with who I am. Nothing is forced. It’s natural, tough, but not hard work. And that’s leadership to me.
Where can you see that you’ve led and made an impact?
I’m really proud of being on the team of three women who set up Childline in Scotland. It wasn’t easy. It was late 80s and seemed inconceivable to offer confidential space to children and young people who were in trouble or danger. It just wasn’t the done thing.
I was very much leading within that role. Princess Diana was our patron, and we would train together so it feels odd to say I was leading in her presence, but I had the courage to work with someone of that stature – and the likes of Esther Rantzen who we worked closely with too. We knew we had some gravitas and, for me at this young age, I was showing the natural force other leaders had seen in me.
I’ve reflected on this experience a lot over the past couple of years. It was a milestone for me in my career. I had to interview the majority of the 2,000 applications for telephone counsellors, 75% of which disclosed at their interview that they’d experienced sexual abuse. For many this was the first time they’d admitted it to anyone.
It was humbling and incredibly valuable to work through this. It was a sign that the world was changing and it was the start of computerisation so even leading a team on a shift answering calls and supporting them was incredible.
Who would you hold up as a great everyday leader and what is it about them that you value?
My good friend, Adele Patrick, founded the women’s library in Glasgow which is now internationally recognised.
She was doing a doctorate and I was doing a diploma in coaching and needed clients. She found out about me, and we started working together. It was a lovely time and grew into friendship and I now count her as one of a few close friends.
It’s important to me that I have quality in these friendships, not quantity. I need to know I can really trust them, and Adele is one of these people. We met for lunch recently and the stimulation that I get from spending time with her is incredible, and vital. She would class herself as a feminist leader and yet she’s humble, tender, brave and has an ability to speak about what scares her. That’s possibly not the stereotype we’re used to, sadly.
I value her as a person but equally because of her learning, her journey and how she plans future chapters of her life. She’s another person who is leading even though she doesn’t think she is.
Has there been an influential source that you would recommend to others?
I have gone back and re-read a lot of Carl Rogers’ books because they underpin the coactive coaching I do. What I do is rooted in his person-centred approach and I probably naturally reference a lot of his work.
Of course, he worked with people who had had their identities decimated through experiences such as fighting in the VietNam war but I’ve realised there’s more to relationships than being in a therapeutic room. We must be congruent, authentic and listen on a daily basis. It’s been important for me to revisit these themes and see that they are still relevant.
Do you have a favourite mantra or quote?
Life can only be understood backwards but must be lived forwards. (Soren Kirkegaard)
I do feel that hindsight is a critical thing – we must look back to understand where we are in life. It’s ok to do that and make sense of where you are now in doing so.
I’ve done a lot of that, especially through the pandemic when I found I could see and appreciate what I’d experienced and how it helped me be what I am. I’ve done a lot of struggling and fighting against myself and now I’m a lot more stable. It feels a lot better.
What’s your last word on leadership?
I find it incredibly uplifting and inspirational when, despite terrible things that happen in the world, we see people come together and create a sense of leadership for themselves. I’m thinking about Black Lives Matter, the #metoo movement, and others where everyday people have seen an injustice and been unable to ignore it.
We no longer need to fear that events will just take their course. There are a lot of really good people in the world who are trying on this ‘everyday leadership’ hat on a daily basis and I think this is to be encouraged – and highlighted as you are in this blog and I am in my work.
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The topic of leadership fascinates me. But I believe many of us have a closed opinion of who our leaders are. In my latest blog series, I speak to people who I consider to be ‘everyday leaders’.
These people may not have ‘leadership’ in their role or title, but they demonstrate leadership in their everyday life. The point is that we all lead in our own way. I want to uncover people who do this particularly well and tell their stories in the hope of inspiring others to engage with and harness their inner leader.
|
|
Charley is a therapeutic coach, facilitator, and consultant. She works with women and girls from the age of 10, to support them in reducing anxiety and increasing self-belief and confidence. She’s had a fascinating life, ranging from setting up Childline Scotland, through to caring for her partner who died in her mid-thirties. She’s now in her fifties and, I’m delighted to say, joins me for the next interview on my ‘Everyday Leaders’ series. You can find Charley on Instagram at @braveyourday and as @skagirl67 on Twitter.
Tell me a bit about what’s made you the person you are today?
For me, there’s been a realisation that some of the changes I’ve been ready to make in later life may be as a result of epiphanies in the past but we have to be ready to integrate that experience. This really excites me as it’s led to what I’m doing on a daily basis.
A good way of understanding this is to think about how you feel when you are at school and get asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
That’s like asking us to unravel a tangled ball of wool. Our lives and careers are not linear.
It’s only now that I feel as though I’ve come home to myself with what I’m doing but also how I’m being.
What do you do on a day-by-day basis?
I have a private practice where I work with individuals therapeutically as a counsellor and coach. I work with girls from the age of 10 through to women at all stages of life who want to work out who they are and where they’re going.
We also work with organisations, most of whom work with vulnerable people themsleves. We help them to understand how to support themselves while they are supporting others. They need to be able to cope with the impact that caring brings. This could involve us helping them structure their own peer support, helping with plans for taking time to create a balance, or helping their people to build stronger relationships with themselves.
However, I have wanted to be a shopkeeper since I was very young so, in my downtime, I run an Etsy shop. I use the proceeds to help girls and women who don’t have the funds to get the sort of help I offer plus it acts as a creative outlet for me, which I love.
Your business is called Brave Your Day. Where did this come from?
I realised in my 30s that I’ve always been afraid. I’ve always been anxious and felt scared of things I was about to do. I experienced lots of change during my 30s. I was caring for my long-term partner at the time, for about 5 years until he died. This took a significant toll on me as I was petrified of the inevitable happening.
It was then I realised that fear lived within me. His death taught me I’d changed an awful lot in those years, but it was another 10 years before I was ready to make changes. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t pinpoint it.
I’d always wanted to go to Memphis. I’m a huge Elvis fan and wanted to visit civil rights museum there so we went for my birthday. It was then, because I couldn’t stop crying, that I realised I was burnt out. The museum gave me a strong sense of calm. It’s very interactive and it seemed to have a physical effect on me. The tears hadn’t stopped but I was realising that these were ‘normal’ people who had come together to make something happen. I could do that too.
I told Colin that when we went home, I was going to request redundancy and I wanted to work together to do something completely different.
Bravery isn’t all about high fives and bravado. It’s about finding a way to push through your fear. This was what I witnessed, and felt personally, at the civil rights museum.
Brave Your Day, Your Way seemed the perfect way to describe this.
How would you define leadership?
I like to think of leadership as taking charge of yourself and knowing you have your own voice and can speak up for yourself and others.
I believe that leadership is about all of us holding our own torches, but lighting others’ too. I’m influenced by Gloria Steinem, who founded the feminist movement in America. People are talking about who will take per place (she’s in her 80s now) and she can’t believe that – it’s about all of us helping each other, leading from our own guts and courage.
You started by looking inwards, whereas leadership is often portrayed as ‘doing to others’. Was this intentional?
I think it’s where I’ve got to with what I’m doing and who I’m being.
For so many people we work with, their voice has either been missing or turned right down and they are frightened of what will happen if this changes. So, I feel that this is the strongest work any of us can do – to look inside and be comfortable with having a voice and using it. Lots of the organisations I work with will also have values that chime with this.
Do you consider yourself a leader?
I do now. I haven’t in the past. Others have said I am but I didn’t think I merited that, probably because I linked it with a role or position.
I think it’s common for others to see leadership first. Now, I recognise that I am a leader because of the principles I have about leadership. I don’t need that external validation from others anymore – maybe that’s age as I’m nearly 55 – I’m comfortable in my own skin.
The thing that made the difference probably only happened last year. We set up Brave Your Day at the end of 2017, but we weren’t particularly strategic – we wanted to see how it went. Through lockdown though, and going back to what I know about my skills and experience, everything came together and I started to embrace the things I’d been pushing away.
It was no longer about leadership goals in the traditional sense, but instead, coming home to what I was good at and feeling settled, rooted, with who I am. Nothing is forced. It’s natural, tough, but not hard work. And that’s leadership to me.
Where can you see that you’ve led and made an impact?
I’m really proud of being on the team of three women who set up Childline in Scotland. It wasn’t easy. It was late 80s and seemed inconceivable to offer confidential space to children and young people who were in trouble or danger. It just wasn’t the done thing.
I was very much leading within that role. Princess Diana was our patron, and we would train together so it feels odd to say I was leading in her presence, but I had the courage to work with someone of that stature – and the likes of Esther Rantzen who we worked closely with too. We knew we had some gravitas and, for me at this young age, I was showing the natural force other leaders had seen in me.
I’ve reflected on this experience a lot over the past couple of years. It was a milestone for me in my career. I had to interview the majority of the 2,000 applications for telephone counsellors, 75% of which disclosed at their interview that they’d experienced sexual abuse. For many this was the first time they’d admitted it to anyone.
It was humbling and incredibly valuable to work through this. It was a sign that the world was changing and it was the start of computerisation so even leading a team on a shift answering calls and supporting them was incredible.
Who would you hold up as a great everyday leader and what is it about them that you value?
My good friend, Adele Patrick, founded the women’s library in Glasgow which is now internationally recognised.
She was doing a doctorate and I was doing a diploma in coaching and needed clients. She found out about me, and we started working together. It was a lovely time and grew into friendship and I now count her as one of a few close friends.
It’s important to me that I have quality in these friendships, not quantity. I need to know I can really trust them, and Adele is one of these people. We met for lunch recently and the stimulation that I get from spending time with her is incredible, and vital. She would class herself as a feminist leader and yet she’s humble, tender, brave and has an ability to speak about what scares her. That’s possibly not the stereotype we’re used to, sadly.
I value her as a person but equally because of her learning, her journey and how she plans future chapters of her life. She’s another person who is leading even though she doesn’t think she is.
Has there been an influential source that you would recommend to others?
I have gone back and re-read a lot of Carl Rogers’ books because they underpin the coactive coaching I do. What I do is rooted in his person-centred approach and I probably naturally reference a lot of his work.
Of course, he worked with people who had had their identities decimated through experiences such as fighting in the VietNam war but I’ve realised there’s more to relationships than being in a therapeutic room. We must be congruent, authentic and listen on a daily basis. It’s been important for me to revisit these themes and see that they are still relevant.
Do you have a favourite mantra or quote?
Life can only be understood backwards but must be lived forwards. (Soren Kirkegaard)
I do feel that hindsight is a critical thing – we must look back to understand where we are in life. It’s ok to do that and make sense of where you are now in doing so.
I’ve done a lot of that, especially through the pandemic when I found I could see and appreciate what I’d experienced and how it helped me be what I am. I’ve done a lot of struggling and fighting against myself and now I’m a lot more stable. It feels a lot better.
What’s your last word on leadership?
I find it incredibly uplifting and inspirational when, despite terrible things that happen in the world, we see people come together and create a sense of leadership for themselves. I’m thinking about Black Lives Matter, the #metoo movement, and others where everyday people have seen an injustice and been unable to ignore it.
We no longer need to fear that events will just take their course. There are a lot of really good people in the world who are trying on this ‘everyday leadership’ hat on a daily basis and I think this is to be encouraged – and highlighted as you are in this blog and I am in my work.
” content_last_edited=”on|phone” _builder_version=”4.14.8″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]
The topic of leadership fascinates me. But I believe many of us have a closed opinion of who our leaders are. In my latest blog series, I speak to people who I consider to be ‘everyday leaders’.
These people may not have ‘leadership’ in their role or title, but they demonstrate leadership in their everyday life. The point is that we all lead in our own way. I want to uncover people who do this particularly well and tell their stories in the hope of inspiring others to engage with and harness their inner leader.
 |
Charley is a therapeutic coach, facilitator, and consultant. She works with women and girls from the age of 10, to support them in reducing anxiety and increasing self-belief and confidence. She’s had a fascinating life, ranging from setting up Childline Scotland, through to caring for her partner who died in her mid-thirties. She’s now in her fifties and, I’m delighted to say, joins me for the next interview on my ‘Everyday Leaders’ series. You can find Charley on Instagram at @braveyourday and as @skagirl67 on Twitter. Links added at the bottom of this blog. |
Tell me a bit about what’s made you the person you are today?
For me, there’s been a realisation that some of the changes I’ve been ready to make in later life may be as a result of epiphanies in the past but we have to be ready to integrate that experience. This really excites me as it’s led to what I’m doing on a daily basis.
A good way of understanding this is to think about how you feel when you are at school and get asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
That’s like asking us to unravel a tangled ball of wool. Our lives and careers are not linear.
It’s only now that I feel as though I’ve come home to myself with what I’m doing but also how I’m being.
What do you do on a day-by-day basis?
I have a private practice where I work with individuals therapeutically as a counsellor and coach. I work with girls from the age of 10 through to women at all stages of life who want to work out who they are and where they’re going.
We also work with organisations, most of whom work with vulnerable people themsleves. We help them to understand how to support themselves while they are supporting others. They need to be able to cope with the impact that caring brings. This could involve us helping them structure their own peer support, helping with plans for taking time to create a balance, or helping their people to build stronger relationships with themselves.
However, I have wanted to be a shopkeeper since I was very young so, in my downtime, I run an Etsy shop. I use the proceeds to help girls and women who don’t have the funds to get the sort of help I offer plus it acts as a creative outlet for me, which I love.
Your business is called Brave Your Day. Where did this come from?
I realised in my 30s that I’ve always been afraid. I’ve always been anxious and felt scared of things I was about to do. I experienced lots of change during my 30s. I was caring for my long-term partner at the time, for about 5 years until he died. This took a significant toll on me as I was petrified of the inevitable happening.
It was then I realised that fear lived within me. His death taught me I’d changed an awful lot in those years, but it was another 10 years before I was ready to make changes. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t pinpoint it.
I’d always wanted to go to Memphis. I’m a huge Elvis fan and wanted to visit civil rights museum there so we went for my birthday. It was then, because I couldn’t stop crying, that I realised I was burnt out. The museum gave me a strong sense of calm. It’s very interactive and it seemed to have a physical effect on me. The tears hadn’t stopped but I was realising that these were ‘normal’ people who had come together to make something happen. I could do that too.
I told Colin that when we went home, I was going to request redundancy and I wanted to work together to do something completely different.
Bravery isn’t all about high fives and bravado. It’s about finding a way to push through your fear. This was what I witnessed, and felt personally, at the civil rights museum.
Brave Your Day, Your Way seemed the perfect way to describe this.
How would you define leadership?
I like to think of leadership as taking charge of yourself and knowing you have your own voice and can speak up for yourself and others.
I believe that leadership is about all of us holding our own torches, but lighting others’ too. I’m influenced by Gloria Steinem, who founded the feminist movement in America. People are talking about who will take per place (she’s in her 80s now) and she can’t believe that – it’s about all of us helping each other, leading from our own guts and courage.
You started by looking inwards, whereas leadership is often portrayed as ‘doing to others’. Was this intentional?
I think it’s where I’ve got to with what I’m doing and who I’m being.
For so many people we work with, their voice has either been missing or turned right down and they are frightened of what will happen if this changes. So, I feel that this is the strongest work any of us can do – to look inside and be comfortable with having a voice and using it. Lots of the organisations I work with will also have values that chime with this.
Do you consider yourself a leader?
I do now. I haven’t in the past. Others have said I am but I didn’t think I merited that, probably because I linked it with a role or position.
I think it’s common for others to see leadership first. Now, I recognise that I am a leader because of the principles I have about leadership. I don’t need that external validation from others anymore – maybe that’s age as I’m nearly 55 – I’m comfortable in my own skin.
The thing that made the difference probably only happened last year. We set up Brave Your Day at the end of 2017, but we weren’t particularly strategic – we wanted to see how it went. Through lockdown though, and going back to what I know about my skills and experience, everything came together and I started to embrace the things I’d been pushing away.
It was no longer about leadership goals in the traditional sense, but instead, coming home to what I was good at and feeling settled, rooted, with who I am. Nothing is forced. It’s natural, tough, but not hard work. And that’s leadership to me.
Where can you see that you’ve led and made an impact?
I’m really proud of being on the team of three women who set up Childline in Scotland. It wasn’t easy. It was late 80s and seemed inconceivable to offer confidential space to children and young people who were in trouble or danger. It just wasn’t the done thing.
I was very much leading within that role. Princess Diana was our patron, and we would train together so it feels odd to say I was leading in her presence, but I had the courage to work with someone of that stature – and the likes of Esther Rantzen who we worked closely with too. We knew we had some gravitas and, for me at this young age, I was showing the natural force other leaders had seen in me.
I’ve reflected on this experience a lot over the past couple of years. It was a milestone for me in my career. I had to interview the majority of the 2,000 applications for telephone counsellors, 75% of which disclosed at their interview that they’d experienced sexual abuse. For many this was the first time they’d admitted it to anyone.
It was humbling and incredibly valuable to work through this. It was a sign that the world was changing and it was the start of computerisation so even leading a team on a shift answering calls and supporting them was incredible.
Who would you hold up as a great everyday leader and what is it about them that you value?
My good friend, Adele Patrick, founded the women’s library in Glasgow which is now internationally recognised.
She was doing a doctorate and I was doing a diploma in coaching and needed clients. She found out about me, and we started working together. It was a lovely time and grew into friendship and I now count her as one of a few close friends.
It’s important to me that I have quality in these friendships, not quantity. I need to know I can really trust them, and Adele is one of these people. We met for lunch recently and the stimulation that I get from spending time with her is incredible, and vital. She would class herself as a feminist leader and yet she’s humble, tender, brave and has an ability to speak about what scares her. That’s possibly not the stereotype we’re used to, sadly.
I value her as a person but equally because of her learning, her journey and how she plans future chapters of her life. She’s another person who is leading even though she doesn’t think she is.
Has there been an influential source that you would recommend to others?
I have gone back and re-read a lot of Carl Rogers’ books because they underpin the coactive coaching I do. What I do is rooted in his person-centred approach and I probably naturally reference a lot of his work.
Of course, he worked with people who had had their identities decimated through experiences such as fighting in the VietNam war but I’ve realised there’s more to relationships than being in a therapeutic room. We must be congruent, authentic and listen on a daily basis. It’s been important for me to revisit these themes and see that they are still relevant.
Do you have a favourite mantra or quote?
Life can only be understood backwards but must be lived forwards. (Soren Kirkegaard)
I do feel that hindsight is a critical thing – we must look back to understand where we are in life. It’s ok to do that and make sense of where you are now in doing so.
I’ve done a lot of that, especially through the pandemic when I found I could see and appreciate what I’d experienced and how it helped me be what I am. I’ve done a lot of struggling and fighting against myself and now I’m a lot more stable. It feels a lot better.
What’s your last word on leadership?
I find it incredibly uplifting and inspirational when, despite terrible things that happen in the world, we see people come together and create a sense of leadership for themselves. I’m thinking about Black Lives Matter, the #metoo movement, and others where everyday people have seen an injustice and been unable to ignore it.
We no longer need to fear that events will just take their course. There are a lot of really good people in the world who are trying on this ‘everyday leadership’ hat on a daily basis and I think this is to be encouraged – and highlighted as you are in this blog and I am in my work.
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