It’s unlikely that the Greek philosopher Socrates was referring to building strong business leaders when he said “the only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” And yet, having the humility to say “I don’t know” feels just as radical now as it probably did almost 2500 years ago.
This is the second blog in our three-part series exploring what ends up on leaders’ ‘to avoid’ lists, behaviours that can erode trust and company culture despite often coming from a place of discomfort or vulnerability.
Saying “I don’t know” is high on that list, but ironically it can also be the most powerful three words a leader uses.
Expertise means knowledge – or does it?
Many leaders believe that because they are the most experienced or senior person in a room, they have to be the expert. But the truth is, leaders aren’t paid to be experts. It’s a leader’s role to build a team with complementary skills and expertise in all the necessary fields. Your strength isn’t in knowing everything, but in creating the conditions where the best thinking can occur.
Another common concern from leaders is that they unconsciously link credibility with knowledge. But, in reality, credibility isn’t damaged by not knowing something, it’s damaged by pretending to have all the answers. Add in a dose of imposter syndrome – the underlying fear that they’ll be ‘found out’ and deemed unqualified for their role if they show knowledge gaps – and it’s no surprise that senior leadership refuse to show chinks in their armour.
In coaching sessions, we often hold a mirror up to the problem and ask how they would react to hearing someone else say “I don’t know.” Unequivocally, there is no judgement.
What really happens when you say “I don’t know”?
When a leader admits that they don’t have the answer, several important things happen. This truthful statement – “I don’t know” – builds trust, gives others permission to say it too, and increases psychological safety within a team. It also reduces the risk that comes from leaders unconsciously taking responsibility for decisions, answers, and outcomes when they are often not best placed to do so.
It’s important to learn that people want reassurance that you are committed to moving towards an answer, not that you already have one. Strong leaders move quickly from “I don’t know” to “I’m working towards knowing”, which shifts people out of fear and unknowing and into a place of action and progress.
Every leader will have “I don’t know” moments. And arguably, if you don’t, you’re not growing.
Coaching can provide a safe space for leaders to test different responses or work through the fear of showing a lack of knowledge. It’s a powerful way to debunk the myths you might be carrying and tick off another item from your ‘to-avoid’ list.